Whose life are you living?

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” Ferdinand is the world’s most peaceful–and–beloved little bull. While all of the other bulls snort, leap, and butt their heads, Ferdinand is content to just sit and smell the flowers under his favorite cork tree.” – The Story of Ferdinand

I recently had the chance to read The Story of Ferdinand. I found this book so relatable to my situation and where I stand in life right now; it was a wonderful awakening for me to understand that I am an individual, it’s my time, that I shouldn’t care about other people’s opinions as long as I am happy and that I should march to the beat of my own drum.

Everything began a while back when I decided to start college. As usual, family members and people around me would ask about my plans and desired major. My answer would  always be: I’ve not chosen a specific major, but will explore areas of interest a bit more, until I find a career that fits me. For the most part the reaction wasn’t  good and because I had just decided to shift my aim, that negativity affected me badly.

I come from a country where you have to know your career from the moment you start walking.. which is what? a year old? two? Just imagine a two year old already strategizing his career plan! (JUST KIDDING)

But seriously, I remember when I was younger my dream was to become a doctor, help people, do everything involving  humanitarian support. And, that certainly is still in my plans, but maybe not as a doctor. Furthermore, I understood that the idea of becoming a doctor had definitely come from my desire to provide support, but also from my memorable teachers, family members and even friends who saw great potential in me, so their vision for me was to be a successful doctor. I wasn’t mad about it!

Do I have a plan? I definitely do!

Do I feel scared? Sometimes!

Do I feel lost? not one bit!

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Listen, I understand the fact that it’s highly important to know what you want out of life, to have a plan, to be decisive, etc. But just because you are trying to  analyze and embrace all of your skills and abilities, so that you can find a career that fits you the most doesn’t mean that you are lost, late or uninterested on building a successful life. It’s so heartbreaking to me to think about how much of our lives we spend doing things that we dislike, and I am talking about the ones that have a choice first hand to decide what path to take…. [But in reality we all have a choice, no matter who/where/what], It’s just that there is a misconception of who has it easier… and nobody has it easy. The path to becoming the person you want, getting the life you want will never be easy  no matter where you stand on the social pyramid. [I would discuss this in depth on a future post]

You know, we all have different perspectives on success and what could be a happy life. A lot of people try to tell you what’s best for you, and try to pick on all of your wrongs and bad decision-making,  but don’t stop to think and consider that first, what they see as bad or wrong, it’s probably the best that you could have done for yourself and second, that you probably feel extremely happy with what you are doing and completely sure of what you want.

I have a friend that it’s in her late Thirties. The other day she was complaining about how she had a reunion with her girlfriends and right when they all got into the conversation, the attention was turned to her and her life at this point. They literally attacked her with such: “Girl, why you driving that old truck? Why you don’t have a TV? Girl, is that your man? Buy some land!  Are you crazy? Why you don’t party? You are so cheap! Girlll!

She felt like throwing sand in their parrot mouths.

And, that happens because like I mentioned earlier, we always try to give people an opinion on their lives from our perspective and experiences. We think that if we took certain steps to get where we are, others should do it too, because “that’s the only way to go”, but we’re wrong. It’s better for you to provide your point of view on something, without sounding like a counselor telling the patient what to do to better his/her life.

In the midst of chaos, I have learned to trust myself and came to conclude that:

Your dreams can only be yours

  • Go for what you love, exploit you passions and talents. Don’t feel bad for the parent who wishes you would do what they couldn’t do when young. God made us all individuals, so that once our parents raise us, we can be able to think for ourselves and choose a path.

Ditch negativity

  • Stop letting people drown you with their negativity and their audacity to make you feel ashamed of your decisions.

Change is not a bad thing

  • Change is a constant in our lives. Once you take the first step to change, your life will become much better. Take risks, getting out of your comfort zone will take you PLACES…

Think about you first

  • We have to stop putting our own needs on the back burner. I personally, have been the kind of person that would adjust my life to the needs of others, and that’s certainly my nature. But I realized that people don’t consider you the same way you consider them, so it’s your job to set boundaries so that you don’t end up hurt and burnt.

I feel extremely proud of myself for who I am and all the things that I have achieved so far. But most importantly, I’m happy that I have finally come to a place where I can appreciate every little part of me; without feeling guilty for my way of thinking or being happy with doing what I love. I have progressed to the extent where I can vision my desired life and can go ahead and execute my goal plan without fear, without censorship. Please friends, treasure your believes and values, don’t let your special self, the secret that you know and no one else does, YOUR TRUTH.. be swallowed up by the great chewing complacency.

Own it!

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8 thoughts on “Whose life are you living?

  1. Awesome post, Ana! Happy for you that you’ve found your “place” in this world and the “part” you wish to play as part of the society which highlights your unique individuality.
    Keep it up. I’m definitely following your blog! 👍

    Liked by 1 person

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